America really is my favourite reality show. Just when you think things can’t get any more ‘out there’ a new season launches and all the rules get broken. In the latest plot development an aging patriarch returns promising to unleash a torrent of personal vengeance and vilification, doled out via social media posts and executive orders. And that’s just the promo reel. As the USA now seemingly embraces its inner apocalypse, we might as well let hell break out musically too. To that end, we present a load of hooky tunes all about mayhem, devilry, and less than optimal outcomes.

To hear some American commentators talk, you’d think the devil himself was running for office. But listening to Paul Gilbert’s “I am Satan” he doesn’t seem so scary. Besides presenting the dark lord as an affable, devil-may-care guy, the tune is hilarious and eminently hummable, vibing goofball rockers like Rupert Holmes, Jonathan Coulton and Weird Al. By way of background, Gilbert is an honest-to-god guitar hero with countless instrumental albums where he pyro-techniques his way through every imaginable songbook. Yet it’s when he sits down to write more accessible pop tunes that I’m gobsmacked. Moving on, Quincy tell us about a “Get Well Card from the Devil” and I get the feeling they just don’t trust the sentiment. Over a boppy track that has a definite Eels-meets-The Kinks vibe to it, the takeaway is some characters talk nice but do nasty so best beware. Then there’s Fireproof Sam and the Networks Stars who turn the camera back on us on “The Devil in your own Detail.” I mean, how much of the ugly in the world may be reflected in our good selves? Or, to put it differently, could we be pushing against the darkness just a little bit more?

Next topic: hell. Let’s pause to consider America’s obsession with Manichean good and evil, heaven and hell. At any given moment somebody in America is going to hell, if you can believe all those TV preachers. Canadian band Hollerado give a Great White North take on the situation with a load of ‘sorry’ asides on “Straight to Hell.” By contrast Glaswegians U.S. Highball are less deferential, preferring to just “See You In Hell” at some unspecified future date. Or you could just give in and resign yourself to being “Best Dressed Man in Hell” as Emperor Penguin elect to do. Not a great group of options but if these songs make the soundtrack in hell count me in.

A strong theme in the recent race for glorious leader was disaster. Sure, you’ve got tornadoes ripping up the American south – nothing new there – but now that chaos is being exported to every other corner of the continental USA. I think the Chesterfield Kings “Crazy Days and Wild Nights” effectively captures what may lie ahead. Catch the six-o-clock news for your crazy days update and then lock up your house to steer clear of those wild nights. Looked at positively maybe Greg Ieronimo is right and we’re in for some “Beautiful Disaster.” But my bet is with Cheap Star that things will just be plain old “Disaster.” Both are supremely cool tunes so go ahead and enjoy them as Paris (Texas) is burning.

Another great debate in the headlines is about war: who’s for it and who’s agin it. Despite claims that the new America will down weapons I can’t help but feel the Preoccupied Pipers have got a better grasp on reality with “We Go to War.” It’s just too predictable that when shady characters get desperate flags get waved and somebody’s kids get war fatigues. This can lead to a related development ably sketched out by Beachheads on “Death of a Nation.” There’s something old school UK punk about this tune, at least until the chorus when things get particularly poppy (and I’m lovin’ it). Or, conversely, perhaps The Magnetic Fields are on to something with their alternative history prophecy “The Day the Politicians Died.” I usually have quite a bit of sympathy for people who stand for political office, it’s a thankless job. But I get the sentiment behind this song, particularly in the US where you really have to be millionaire or friends with one to join the politician club.

I want to be an optimist but often I feel The Call called it back in 1984 with their dour cover of Moby Grape’s “The Apocalypse.” Their version is just so moody and dark, perfect for our moment. As they sing “Apocalypse is now, mankind. The time has come to die” we can cue any number of destruction montage sequences.

Or maybe not. People could get their act together and pull us back from the abyss. I’m leaving that door open. Luckily there’s plenty more great music to distract me (and you) in the meantime. So let’s get dancing, apocalypso style.

Photo copyright Max Scheler, Hamburg Germany, ‘Fall out shelter for sale,’ Los Angeles 1961, as featured on the James Vaughn Flikr collection.